Its probably more useful for society to see both fathers and mothers as people who work both at home and in other jobs, so rather than abolish working mother, it might be nice to popularise seeing men as working fathers. 3. People are often surprised when I raise issues of discrimination in the church. That book really opened my eyes and changed my thinking and behaviour Sarah recently postedThailand wrap up. Or Parliament. Please leave a comment with your response, and any ideas you have about making the world a better place for everyone. Strong women, or alpha females, are exactly that: strong women who are incredible leaders, with alpha traits that are inherently a part of who she is and come across in everything she does. Youre sensitive! is one of my favorite protest-phrases for I disagree, because it manages to make the writer lookoffended. As we start to attribute characteristics as more male or more female this is where the challenges. Horrors! This came to a head when I started my Postgrad, because it seems most of my relatives think I should not be doing it. This is the favourite term of disparagement in my workplace towards any female manager who has a vision she wants to implement. Stop using these words, eh? Getty Rachel, a seasoned executive in the natural resources industry, got promoted to an important role in. When I was a little kid at infant school I was unkindly labelled spitfire because I had a strong personality and lots of energy, and I stood up for myself. I just had an email from a man replying to my description of Greta Thunberg as brave In his opinion her self-certainty and scolding of others was not brave, simply chutzpah. Potential is another great word. Interesting. Performance review gender bias: High-achieving women are - Fortune Forward. ), Heart-breaker (and any other words that sexualise little kids, suggesting they are into romance orsex when theyre only four years old. There is a serious problem in the healthcare industry where female patients are assumed to be dramatic or hysterical about their symptoms (or their childrens) , and this can be very, very costly. I suppose they are just simply extremely fragile humans. So here is my list so far ofdozens of sneakily sexist words to get us all thinking. There are certainly some here that I have not considered before and will update my list accordingly. I was repulsedby myself. Get a life Long time reader, first time commenter Reading your posts always takes me so long because I have to follow so many links and I get all distracted and dont come back to comment. Jezebel Typically used in the workplace. Well except that hyst part is the Greek-derived root word referring to the uterus. These words come fromthis fantastic tip-sheet from the University of Arizona Commission on the Status of Women, available as a PDF here: I dont know about you, but Im a bit tired after all of that. She said, Im so glad theres more guys in this job hopefully it will be less bitchy. eh. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Queen bee Arrogant Or as theyre usually known, men? Heres a place to start if you need it: http://women.govt.nz/work-skills/income/gender-pay-gap. Some people are lovely, but I often hear it used by men and women who clearly have an issue with women who do not fit the lovely mould and reserve it for those women who meet the lovely criteria. Colours are for everyone. EAT THAT! 'Words can't even describe it' The next step of her journey would involve implanting one of her embryos. So, do you have a woman who is dominating or harsh or strict, then you can call her bossy. As a bossy girl who doesnt need an education because Im just going to get married anyway (gotta love the advice my parents received and didnt follow), Ive been struggling with the straight jacket of gender expectations my whole life. I dont even think they realize it. Once I got going it wasnt even thatdifficult. YES, a lot of these words are things we can attempt stop using, and the same goes for certain words towards men. SoI tried something new. Feisty, frigid and frumpy: 14 words we only use to describe women 20 words we only use to describe women - News.com.au Males were created good; females were created bad. Slang Words used ONLY to describe Women & Girls - Learnex I know I said this far to often and is a very hard habit to break, but now I am aware of it and I think thats the first step in change! A person can enjoy holding one baby without being clucky or hearing her clock tick. Actually she was highly intelligent and accomplished beyond belief and her mind just raced forward and she didnt have time for bullshit because of her enormous workload. Id add conniving to the list. I emailed them immediately in disgust and of course had no reply. Why this insult? Or maybe a male nurse, or homemaker who has perhaps felt uncertainty about the choices he made? If you insultingly say a man is effeminate you compare him to FEMALES and imply that this makes him somehow an object of ridicule. I feel that this may be an integral part of homo sapiens behaviour. Thanks, Sarah! Thank you, James, Pingback: 3.1 Further Research | Madison Hunt | Ihi Wehi, Bleat If people feel angry I am ok with what they feel but i never have to subject myself to emotional abuse by listening to their right to have their voice heard. For dozens of phrases for feminist parenting, check out my post here. So "bossy" was a way to cast a woman as unfeminine and unnatural. For When 'Lowdown Crook' Isn't Specific Enough. Thank you for this article! Wearing the trousers Why is it when a woman is strong and advocates her rights as an equal human men automatically are threatened and attempt to gaslight.? I was musing onhow men dont get complimented on being bubbly or chatty, and that these are behaviours that are, well, unthreatening to men: is that why they are compliments? I feel its my duty as the majority of the doctors who treat me are younger than me. You dont make any sense. This article is quite validating and I feel better about initiating the conversation. I mean, ARE there truly masculine and feminine ways of expressing what goes on within, or is this just a way of viewing things based solely upon stereotypical notions of males and females? And dont get me started on working mother. Munter I was labelled a tomboy because I played cricket, ran about a lot, and liked climbing and cycling and judo. NOT that such things are valueless. 08 Approachable. It will advance women empowerment and help us increase our vocabularies if we stop calling girls bossy. They come from various sources, such as medical terms, terms used in dating, workplace talk But I have hears ALL of them, and been personally subjected to some, including, Dating insults: Check out this wonderful series of #banbossy posters. Why are Women "Bossy" and Men "Assertive"? - LinkedIn Words To Describe A Woman You can leave your suggestions, vote for what the next article will be, and make my writing possible. Way to put the mansplaining it its place! I truly find that setting expectations needs the fewest words possible, and that understanding comes from articles like this one. 1) Lively, resilient and self-reliant 2) (US and Canadian) frisky 3) (US and Canadian) irritable None of these definitions mention gender at all. Oh, an old woman said it? Not only can a woman be a 'bitch', but she can also be 'bitchy' (i.e. And when people start incorrectly accusing Feminists of devaluing the home or care of the vulnerable. Try to take all the judgment and emotion out of what youre talking about. Heres their entry for strident, for example: strident used primarily to describe women (especially feminists) indiscriminately and discriminatingly, strident (as well as shrill) has become a stereotype that means little more than She makes me sick! Alternatives include: harsh, jarring, raucous, dissonant, discordant, unharmonious, clashing, sharp. Using different adjectives for women and men Hormonal English has plenty of options. I dont think anyones trying to ignore bad behavior, by banning use of the word bossy, Godar says. 10. Dont mention her young children unless you would also mention his, or describe her clothes unless you would describe his, or say shes shrill or attractive unless the same adjectives would be applied to a man. Debate is masculine and can harm depending on intention of the individual. Problems occur when people (alas, including you) start trying to infer that roles are gender-oriented. But, they should start calling everyone boss and chief or just switch to sir and madam. Independent: a woman who is self-sufficient and not dependent on others. Flip. I could probably think of others for myself, I have certainly told men that they are sensitive, co-dependent, a drama queen, etc in an attempt to balance the playing field. My participation in the hatred of womens bodies had been every bit a form of self-hatred. Anyone who is involved in giving performance appraisals, mentoring people or otherwise evaluating and describing human beings as a job, might want tostick this advice to journalists from Gloria Steinem on their walls (feel free to copy it and pop it in someones in-tray): The most workable definition of equality for journalists is reversibility. Dont ask her if shes running as a womens candidate unless you ask him if hes running as a mens candidate. There are huge and shocking implications for gender inequality worldwide. Reading it I kept nodding and wincing as I thought how often Ive heard all of these. We women were toasted for our beauty. Words like bossy, abrasive, strident, and aggressive are used to describe women's behaviors when they lead; words like emotional and irrational describe their behaviors when they. If you do need to, choose a word that could equally describe a mans behaviour. Social norms are cultural, but he doesnt see how he is a part of and influence on that culture as a whole. By the way, I have my own personal experience of this subtly denigrating language, and sadly most of it was aimed at my by people I should be able to call my nearest and dearest my family, friends and workplace colleagues. The "Ban Bossy Campaign" led by Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Meta Platforms Inc, formerly Facebook, Founder of LeanIn.org) in 2014 criticises the word 'bossy' to describe Assertive Girls and Women . My father insultingly called my interest in English Literature piss assed and arty-farty, whilst clearly showing a preference for stereotypically male topics like football. Double-standards: These words punish women for behaviour that is acceptable from men These words are used against women who have ideas and opinions and are confident in expressing them Bossy. Spirited. When I really looked at it, I thought the guy is a degenerate loser. more . Dont say shes had facial surgery unless you say he dyes his hair or has hair plugs. Whats the female equivalent of emasculate? You speak about a society and nation, but dont identify your own. Does she always insist on having her own way? Lady lumps Have to go follow some of those links now. It would be wise and compassionate for you to listen to those who are in the majority here. When we see our family, I am not allowed to talk about my career. Men are encouraged to wear wedding rings as to appear stable. This means that he/she is friendly or able to receive others. I have worked hard all my life (3 degrees) and have received no help from any of my family, only criticism. I was promoted to research this subject after my daughter told me shes been told shes bossy. I started writing them down a little while ago. Uterus transplant: Organ donation cures infertility, bonds two women It is sad that you get so mixed up in the points you want to make, by talking about valuing people for themselves, but then wrongly accusing Feminists of not valuing the home. Assess the needs 2. Theres nothing wrong withbeing bubbly, but if its a word used to underestimate and undervalue womens other qualities, maybe its one to relegate. Chick Another medical tern Boggy uterus. Select a trainer Implementation phase 6. The men call male guests boss and chief. Guess they must be commonplace terminology where I grew up on the Fylde Coast, UK!! 2023. Premenstrual So, get your facts straight! Nglish: Translation of bossy for Spanish Speakers. AND baby weight is not an insult. 2. Baby brain (As someone said on the Fem Mamas page: Ffs give exhaustion its real name). (Im going on record with my hunch that shes a she.). Am I wrong for wanting to work hard and achieve? Slapper Equivalent to the medical term oophorectomy theres no judgement there, its just a descriptive term. I love it! [Read more in theThe Womens Media Centers Media Guide to Gender Neutral Coverage of Women Candidates and Politicians, by Rachel Joy Larris and Rosalie Maggio, available as a PDF. Im a little surprised MILF didnt make the list. Men dont tend to use it nearly as often. Gender equality, unless it starts at home, is decades, if not centuries, away. Heres Dotty Winters take on the question: Women are either equal to men, or they arent and language that goes unchallenged is one of the many ways we allow inequality to lurk around in the dusty corners of offices. TRY USING bossy QUIZ I had time off work due to these symptoms, and was told by my MALE NURSE BOSS, Why cant you take an aspirin? I got to a list of seventeen before asking my friends at the Feminist Mothers Aotearoa Facebook group for their un/favourite examples. It is not really possible to say with any accuracy whether debate is masculine, or whether females do things differently. Women leaders often report being called "aggressive" or "bossy" by superiors or peers. I feel for the younger generation of women coming through and hope they are not subjected to the same level of sexism but alas, a lot of young men are still being brought up as being the privileged gender, expecting to be the main breadwinner and having a wife at home to raise the children and do all the housework. Fluff Bolshy. Men are people too and i think a large majority of men born in later decades of 20th centuary are doing what they can to find true equality in society. The Missus If you want to understand why, read this article: http://sacraparental.com/2016/05/14/everyday-misogyny-122-subtly-sexist-words-women/. I cant think that Ive heard it of a man, except for groups and teams: a spirited defence. iron-handed. Thanks so much for putting this on my radar. In fact, there are many better, more accurate ways to describe women and girls than bossy, according to a recent BlogHer post by Julie Ross Godar. My husband and his WHOLE family are also less well-qualified and educated than me. Comments about my hair, make up, clothing, weight loss, nail polish are heard every Sunday. Wifey I have been called a selfish career woman by my prudish, hyper-religious mother-in-law. And bubbly pisses me off, Empire building! Ensure sufficient resources 4. An Honest Dictionary Of Words Used To Describe Women See also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whataboutism. 8 Characteristics Of Boss Ladies - Faze Seems very gender-specific in current times. I was speaking to a friend today and she has just started a new job. Hysteria and hysterical, however, came from the idea that intensely and intrusively emotional states (in women) were due to the uterus, and those terms *do* need to be eradicated. The reviews came from 28 different companies, all in the tech sector, and included a range of organisational sizes. You are in a minority. As if rising in a chosen endeavor is trickery and subterfuge for a female, but aptitude and perseverance for a male. Before you comment on a womans tone or attitude, consider whether you need to at all. But we deal with them as inevitable facts. I am judged on physical appearance daily. Its terms like this which conditioned me into thinking men were superior. Just a bit baffled, J.C. in what way do you imply that debate is masculine? Sugar tits She had that workload because those above her knew just how effective she was but didnt want their balls to shrink by acknowledging it. Yes, we have more than our share of horrible words, and then not enough of the others. Write good terms of reference 5. Remember this pyramid? I think peopleoften use these words (probably unconsciously) to praise women for being unthreatening. A good test to use, if youreally do need totalk about sexual behaviour perhaps in the abstract, with a teenager is, again, only to use language that fits people of any gender. I was looking for references to share with my team. Whereas a man has great potential a female candidate often lacks prior experience. That study has been out for so long, theres no excuse to not be aware of it, especially if youre going to position yourself as someone who can disprove it. Sure does prove to everyone that SEXISM STARTS AT HOME! 5. Do these everyday things offend me? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Women Connect4Good, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Cant find what youre looking for? So many of these cultures have a clear message in their language about women and behaviours toward them: females must be controlled and dominated. Its also the lack of lexemes for women. This one is newish, and seems to be used mostly by women applying it to themselves, and each other, without pejorative or patronising intention, but I reckon it can go either way. Words used to describe bossy and interfering people - Macmillan Dictionary Isnt it just period pain? Many women DO come across as more nurturing, and I for one would take it as a compliment. cocky. Oh shes lovely is basically like saying oh she knows her place.. Other examples, too many to mention. This is an article about language used against women. Tucker Carlson's vulgar language in texts contributed to Fox News I find it is much healthier to accept others as doing their best given their upbringing and experience. If you call a man emasculated you are actually blaming WOMEN for doing this to him. Ever go to a an interview workshop? So well trained wasmy eye that I could spot herimperfections in an instant. Words used to describe bossy and interfering people, Power, authority, influence and leadership, An area or organization that someone controls. Not the obvious, awful insulting words (which are depressingly many and varied), but the ones that fly under the radar, andcontribute to a culture that undervalues women. Neither of my parents is University educated, and my younger brother went to University not once, but TWICE, and quit/failed BOTH times without actually completing his degree. If they yell, we call it robust, or heated. 18 Alpha Female Traits And How To Know If You're One Of These Women What a valuable post. (this from a person who learned medical terminology as part of training to be a medical office assistant, and again later in training to be a pharmacist). For example, we knew that going into the same company with the same title, same educational background, and same certifications, hed get paid more, get bigger bonuses, get a better benefits package, and receive more promotions. As the #banbossy campaign points out, girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem bossy.. Viper someone who is bossy keeps telling other people what to do, in a way that annoys them, telling people what to do and refusing to listen to their opinions, deliberately involving yourself in other peoples lives and trying to influence the way that they behave, although you have no right to do this, an overbearing person always tries to control other peoples behaviour and ignores their opinions and feelings, trying to control other people and make them obey you, telling people what to do without caring what they think, frequently asking or telling someone to do something in a way that annoys them, involving yourself in situations that you have no right to be involved in, becoming involved in something in a way that is not welcome, always criticizing someone, or always telling them to do things, showing that you are used to being obeyed or expect to be obeyed, expecting other people to work very hard and carefully, confident and expecting to be obeyed and respected by people, informal giving advice or telling people how to behave, in a way that is annoying, stating what should happen, or what someone should do, informal extremely determined to get what you want, even if it annoys other people. Great list, I am currently doing a design project on language and feminism focusing on the way we use just. Try-hard MILF/GILF (yuck!) I have variously been unfairly called difficult, disobedient, rebellious and challenging by both my parents, and teachers because I was an active girl, who asked a lot of detailed questions about subjects in class, had a passion for learning, wanted to study in greater depth than teachers allowed, and was always curious and inquisitive. But I have taught to takenoffence to a slew of questions and comments that simply arent offensive, unless you convince yourself that they are. or might compare women to sub-human animals, such as bitch, chick, dog, cow, horse, pig, porker. Shall we chat further in the comments? BOSS LADY Synonyms: 14 Synonyms & Antonyms for BOSS LADY - Thesaurus Another opinion here, though.). Feminism is neither a dying cause, nor one that is doing more harm than good. This is a great article. If youre still adding, then on medical terms that should be reclaimed, then hysterectomy is top of my list. You make me think really hard with posts like this. Yes, women at times can be bitchy. I feel like handsome as a general adjective was more common 100-200 years ago (Im thinking Anne of Green Gables usage! When my husband works from home he has his own business with no mention of the fact that hes a Dad.. They were not expected to direct activities and lead the group. Im trying to distill this great piece into a concise personnel policy. Your email address will not be published. The best is on Twitter, though, so do go and follow her. Women experience a lot of pressure in the realm of child-bearing. Emotional, feisty, nasty. Now, Ill let you know that I am an academic, well-educated woman who has held down a career, and has now returned to University to do postgraduate study (the only person in my immediate family to do this). Share Improve this answer Follow edited Oct 31, 2013 at 19:48 answered Oct 31, 2013 at 19:19 Lumberjack It might be a challenge, and itll be good for everyone. Intense. The amount of mansplaining has been epic! Furthermore, I can tell you that I have NEVER come across a woman who earned a single cent less than me for doing the same job. What gives? Integrate initiatives to broader strategy 3. Another lad from sixth form who asked me out accused me of being snooty when I said I didnt fancy him, and then went and told all his friends that I refused to date him because I was vain and thought I was better than him! Also, my mother-in-law is an ex-nurse and still cannot understand that my inability to have given her grandchildren is directly related to my Endometriosis. I could probably list pages, and pages, of these words. It was my fault that I only had one child as I was too much of a career woman and too selfish. Thank you for your video and the lists; I found them to be helpful, however I do not agree with some points with Tone Policing. Trophy Wife Men can and ought to feel emotions, just as much as women, right? This is a reaction to Sheryl Sandbergs current campaign to get people to stop using the word bossy when describing females. Great to see you on the Twits, too! Horrors! Thats one I get a lot also Co -dependent. When was the last time youve seen a man labeled nurturing or co-dependent? I had a creepy male colleague in the Civil Service who thought it was acceptable to tell me I would be attractive if only I smiled more. Neurotic Great list! Host called senior colleague a C-word in text message obtained by lawyers as part of Dominion lawsuit Tucker Carlson's firing from Fox News came after he used vulgar language to describe a . Im going to link this on a piece Im writing Im working on about rape culture, a term, that as a man, I had to look up and figure out how it applied to me and to our culture. Ass Your joke contributes to a culture of violence. Pyramid of five layers: 1: the top, pinnacle = murder; 2: rape, sexual assault, physical, emotional and financial abuse; 3: harassment, threats and verbal abuse; 4: traditional roles, glass ceiling, rigid gender-based stereotypes, 5: sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes, problematic language, objectification. Financial matters, salary, study leave, reimbursement for expenses are not equal. How we speak to and about kids is a larger topic, of course. 9. And when we see behavior that needs correcting, lests use words that describe accurately the behaviors they need to improve. 6. The Little Woman When I managed people, I had to do countless interviews, evaluations, etc. They do not. NOBODY other than that person, and their spouse/partner, should get to have a say in this. Men are denying sexist terminology even when it is blatant swearing. ], Blonde (how many men are said to have blonde moments?). See for instance how flowery the illustrations of Shakespeares use of the word are in this Pinterest search: And though she be but little she is fierce. Believe it or not, Im not hysterically upset over life, but Im not going to lie and pretend that we live in some fantasy where everyone is treated fairly and gets the same interview. Say that someone is being unkind, rude, selfish or inconsiderate. And if my MOTHER-IN-LAW did one, well that would surely make her on a par with GOD! Anyone that doesnt know that WW make .75 cents on the dollar, and WOC- even less *when adjusted for job title* doesnt care to know. Some men may be absolutely useless at it. Lerner, in one of the chapters, also points out that for every one insult linguistically available to describe a male, there are about ten that describe a female. My brother-in-law (husbands brother) who, incidentally, calls his wife things like the little woman says things like accusing me of wearing the trousers in my marriage to my husband. SHE cannot even bear to MENTION THE FACT I AM DOING POSTGRADUTE STUDY! Babe (reminds me of the pig! Shes an economist and a brilliant writer. I appreciate both the article and comments. What would make your list? As a woman in tech with the exact same (down to college and post-grad university) credentials as my husband I can tell you that our salaries have never been close, even while working for the same (progressive) company in the same position at the same time. Pushy: Most recently, used to describe a remarkably accomplished woman whose high standards and willingness to insist on them aggressively just kinda rubs colleagues the wrong way. Think hard about why you use any of these, and whether your use of them dismantles or reinforces a sexist world. Not how differently I started to view other women (for that had been thewhole point of the exercise)but how differently I started to view myself. Whether it's from unconscious bias or downright sexism, women are more frequently described with the first adjective in each set, the modifiers with negative undertones. If we need to speak about poor behaviour, lets choose words that are not unfairly gendered. This is basic self respect. My husbands family do the same. who said things about me including that I was pushy for promotion and that I was stuck up, with my qualifications. I was in tears whilst reading this article that was how moving your words were. I am a female, and unfortunately I have been diagnosed with Endometriosis (please feel free to look this term up if you need to better understand it). 11. Pingback: Eros and the irrelevance of #Me Too against Capitalist+Theist immorality The Eros Principle. Agree with you Elaine. Two of the women were killed while protecting Mr Garcia's baby and 2-year-old daughter by embracing them and covering them with clothing, Mr Garcia said at the vigil. Pushy/Assertive. J.C. This is WRONG, not only in that the facts are inaccurate (as I pointed out above), but also in that once you start trying to emphasize the value of one persons choice compared to another, you fall into an endless and pointless argument.